Navigating the Sensory World this Holiday Season

As we approach the holiday season – with its summer sun, increased social demands, and shifts in our daily rhythms – it’s that time of year where what is meant to be a time of relaxation often becomes a source of profound stress. The very essence of the holidays – busy shopping centres, crowded theme parks, the summer heat, being crammed into cars for long trips, and sharing spaces with unfamiliar faces, smells, and sounds – can create a perfect storm of sensory overload. This post is for the parents, the caregivers, and the neurodivergent individuals navigating these challenges, seeking to find balance and create a season that feels sensorily safe and enjoyable for everyone.

The Sensory Experience

Sensory processing refers to how our brains interpret and respond to the endless stream of information coming from our senses. For Autistic  individuals in particular, this process can be fundamentally different from the allistic experience.

Understanding these patterns in yourself and others is the first step towards empathy and effective support:
– Hypersensitivity: An over-responsiveness to sensory input. A normal conversation might sound like shouting, a gentle touch or hug might feel painful, or the scent of a perfume could be nauseating.
– Hyposensitivity: An under-responsiveness to sensory input. A person might not notice they are hurt, feel cold, or recognise their name being called in a noisy room.
– Sensory Seeking: A powerful need for intense sensory experiences to feel regulated. This can look like spinning, jumping, seeking out strong flavours, or needing deep pressure.
– Sensory Avoidance: Actively moving away from stimuli that are overwhelming or unpleasant, such as covering ears to block out noise or refusing to wear certain fabrics or eat specific textures.

Almost all Autistics experience significant sensory sensitivities. It is a lifelong aspect of their neurotype that cannot be overcome by simply “getting used to it.” In fact, for many, the experience of overwhelming sensory input can be physically painful and harmful.

Challenges for Families with Children

Parenting a neurodivergent child brings its own unique set of joys and challenges. As a caregiver, you may have your own sensory sensitivities, mental health needs, or trauma history. The constant demand to co-regulate with a distressed child, manage meltdowns, and navigate a world not built for your family’s needs can be exhausting. It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed, depleted, or even resentful at times.

The key is to find a balance, which often feels like a tightrope walk. How do you meet your child’s intense need for quiet and routine while also attending a family Christmas lunch? How do you manage your own sensitivity to noise while your child needs to make loud sounds to self-regulate?

Normalising these challenges is crucial. You are not failing if you find this hard. The goal is not perfection, but compassion—for your child and for yourself. Acknowledging your own limits is not selfish; it is a necessary act of self-preservation that allows you to continue showing up for your child.

Some Common Sensory Needs and Self-Regulation

Neurodivergent individuals, both children and adults, instinctively find ways to regulate their sensory systems. Often, these behaviours are misunderstood.

Oral Sensory Input:
Many people seek oral comfort to regulate. This might look like:
– Chewing on fingernails, clothes, or pencil ends.
– Grinding teeth.
– Over-talking, especially when stressed or dysregulated. The jaw is the closest moving joint to the part of the brain that releases stress hormones like cortisol, and its movement helps to down-regulate that fight-or-flight response.

Crunchy or chewy foods can be very satisfying for this reason. Chewing gum is an accessible and effective tool for many. If you notice your child constantly wanting gum, or food in general, it may be a sign they are using it to self-regulate.

Movement:
The constant refrain of “stop moving!” is something many neurodivergent people have heard their entire lives. However, that movement—fidgeting, pacing, rocking, stimming—is the brain’s way of helping a person to regulate and stay present. To be more attentive, we often need to allow ourselves to move. This is why tools like sit-stand desks, wobble cushions, or even just taking regular movement breaks can be so beneficial in school and work environments.

High-Intensity Input (Pain and Temperature):
It can be confronting to learn that some people find pain regulating. It is a powerful, grounding sensation that can cut through overwhelming emotional or mental noise. This can manifest as picking at skin, pulling hair, or even non-suicidal self-injury like cutting. While finding safe options is paramount, it is important to understand this behaviour not as a desire to self-destruct, but as a coping mechanism.

Discreet tools like spiky bracelets or rings or the calm buddy turtle might be enough of an “ouch” without causing harm. Many people who find pain regulating also enjoy tattoos or piercings. Cold temperatures can have a similar grounding effect. Keeping metal fidget tools in the fridge or holding an ice pack can be very effective.

Strategies for a More Sensory-Friendly Holiday Season (and life in general)

Accommodating sensory needs is about modifying the environment and providing the right supports.

1. Environmental Modifications: Small changes can make a big difference.

– Sound: Use noise-filtering earplugs (like Loops or Vibes) that dampen overwhelming background noise while still allowing conversation. 

– Light: Wear sunglasses or a wide-brimmed hat to cope with bright light, inside as well as outside. At home, switch from fluorescent bulbs to warmer, incandescent lighting.

– Clothing: Cut out tags and choose soft, natural fibres. Honour the fact that a particular texture may be genuinely unbearable.

2. Honour Food Palates: Many neurodivergent people are described as “fussy eaters.” It is more accurate to say they have a sensory palate. Certain food textures, smells, or mixed-in ingredients can be as intolerable as being asked to eat something unsafe. Consider the analogy of being served raw chicken at a dinner party—no amount of coaxing could make you eat it. When a neurodivergent person refuses a food, think of it as their “raw chicken.” Focusing on “safe foods” and removing pressure around mealtimes reduces stress for everyone.

3. Build a Sensory Toolkit: A sensory toolkit is a collection of items that helps a person regulate. It does not have to be a box of toys. It can include:

– Chewing gum or chewy jewellery.

– A discreet fidget tool for a pocket or keyring.

– Noise-filtering earplugs.

– A favourite comforting scarf or weighted lap pad.

– A playlist of calming music.

4. Balance Needs (Yours and Theirs): Finding a middle ground is key. This might mean:

– Attending the family gathering for a shorter period.

– Driving separately so you have an escape route.

– Finding a quiet room at the event where your child (or you) can decompress.

– Saying “no” to some invitations. Protecting your family’s wellbeing is more important than meeting every social expectation.

– Challenge the outdated idea that eye contact and hugs should be mandatory.

A Final Reflection on Meeting sensory needs

Your sensory needs are real, valid, and important. Your child’s sensory needs are just as real, valid, and important. This holiday season, I invite you to try the following:

– Get curious: Without judgement, notice what sensory inputs feel calming and which feel dysregulating for you and your child. What did you do to cope as a child? Chew your jumper? Doodle in class? Those were your sensory tools.
– Prioritise regulation over compliance: A regulated person is a learning person. Before you can ask for a certain behaviour, you must first ensure sensory and emotional needs are met.
– Practice self-compassion: You will not always get it right. There will be meltdowns (both yours and your child’s). There will be stressful days. In those moments, remind yourself that you are doing your best in a world not designed for your neurotype.
– Communicate your needs: Model self-advocacy. Say, “The music is a bit loud for me, I’m going to step outside for a few minutes.” This teaches your child that it is okay to have needs and to meet them.

By embracing sensory differences with understanding and compassion, we can move beyond mere survival and begin to create a life—and a holiday season—that is genuinely enjoyable and affirming for the whole family.

Acknowledgements and Further Reading

The ideas shared here are not mine but reflect a collection of inspiration from others’ work, including published research, training, and professional experience.

• The ND Woman Podcast, Season 5 Episode 6 Sensory Regulation with Joanne Seymon Occupational Therapist
• Sandhya Menon, Ed & Dev Psychologist https://www.onwardsandupwardspsychology.com.au/
• Yellow Lady Bugs https://www.yellowladybugs.com.au/
• Kelly Mahler, OT https://www.kelly-mahler.com/